Bull In A China Shop

Why is it that every, single freekin’ time I’m out running errands with the peanut it feels like we are one big, bumbling mess of a disaster just thrashing our way through the aisles, taking out whatever may come our way??!!  I mean, SERIOUSLY!  For example, whether it be a trip to the store, the mall, or Old Navy, it usually goes something like this:

Me (at grocery store) : Honey, please stop touching everything we pass.

Me: Please stop squirming and sit down!

Me: Can you please hold on to your pretzel for one second without dropping it in the cart??

Me: Sit down!

Me: For the love of God, stop touching that!

The Peanut: Mama, I have to go potty!

Now, while this is going on and my patience wears thinner to the point of non-existence, I’ve got my own problems to contend with, mainly the fact that I’m a huge KLUTZ.  Seriously, it’s a constant array of key dropping, coupon dropping, receipt dropping, sunglasses dropping, and tripping over my own two feet….. really, the list goes on & on.  Unfortunately, it already looks like my off-spring has inherited this wonderful trait (which has lovingly been passed down from my mother’s side of the family), as not a day goes by without her literally falling over  from a STANDING position & wahhh, we have yet another bo0-boo!  So, as my child begins to vault out of the grocery cart during check-out, I’m usually fumbling for the bonus card, can’t find my bank card and muttering under my breath about the ridiculousness that is the cost of groceries these days as I realize that I yet again left the reusable bags in the car!  And my fly was open.  And I forgot the milk, one of the main reasons we went to the store in the first place.

OOFAH!  No wonder I rely so much on caffeine, chocolate and the occasional alcoholic beverage.



Free Signature Generator