Decisions, Decisions

So, if anyone out there is still reading this little bloggety blog, you may have noticed I’ve been a bit absent lately (3 weeks to be exact, and even that last post was a simple Wordless Wednesday).  Truth is, things were crazy busy for a while - then the whole fam got sick, and then all hell broke loose (don’t ask)!  However, since then, I’ve had more than one opportunity to continue writing….more than one free moment that would have provided plenty of time to write a post.  But, to put it bluntly, I just haven’t felt like it…and I’m not too sure why.  It’s as if all of my drive & enthusiasm for blogging simply went ‘poof’.

Alas, I am now at a point where the idea of abandoning this little project I started almost a year ago has entered my brain more than once.   Aside from the somewhat snarky writing & opinionating, the frequent pictures & accompanying adventures of my little family, the random fashion advice, and maybe a recipe or two, what really is the purpose of all this??  That, dear Internet, is the question!

Stay tuned….


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Mothering Outside The Box

I’ve often said that I’m not your typical stay-at-home mama  and have no problem what so ever admitting to this (I proudly display this statement on my blog’s brief  ‘about me’ bio).  In fact, I recently discovered another ‘non-mommy mommies’ type (as she calls herself) blogger, and love her new shits and giggles feature that kinda embraces what I’m trying to say here.  So be sure to check out Ericka over at Alabastercow.com – trust me, you won’t regret it!

Since my daughter was born and I first gingerly dangled my toe into the murky waters of motherhood, I have always felt a bit out of  sync when compared to other moms (and isn’t that what we do best, continually compare ourselves to those around us?).  Of course, my bout with postpartum the first 6 months (or more) certainly did not help matters – especially as I struggled to find that connection with my baby that most new mothers glowingly gush about.  I’ve often thought of myself as not really fitting into that standard motherhood mold, which seems to require most if not all of the following actions: cooking for the entire family 7 days a week, meticulously cleaning every nook & cranny of the house on a WEEKLY basis (this includes baseboards, windows, blinds, etc.), laundering something/anything on a DAILY basis, sewing & mending as needed, and basically satisfying everyone’s needs at all times so that no one shall be left unfulfilled……and all of this is done with a giant smile, apron on, oven mitts in hand!

Phew, that’s one hell of a job description!  Not that I don’t do any of that, just maybe not as often or with as much enthusiasm.  So, in celebration of those of us who are more the anti-Betty Crocker kind, I thought I’d compile my personal list of  5 random yet awesome qualities that make me who I am  - a real mom, not afraid to admit my faults and sit back, eat some chocolate, and revel in my imperfections (ok, so I don’t often sit around and celebrate my inadequacies, but you get my point).

1. I LOVE takeout (or carry-out, take-away, what have you) and have about 20+ menus in my collection that get used quite frequently.
2. I tend to curse like a sailor, although never around my daughter if I can help it, and find it slightly cleansing to get out a good “mother******.
3. Sometimes I’ll drive a little slower on the way to pick up the peanut at school, just so I can listen to Howard Stern for a few more minutes.
4. I love my little girl with every fiber of my being, this cannot be stated enough, but praise the Nap Gods for my daily dose of  ME TIME over the last 4 years (knock on wood, knock on wood, knock on wood)!
5. A good glass of wine (or a Margarita if need be) at the end of the day solves all problems.

So there you have it!  Now come on, aren’t you just itching to share some of your beautiful realness???


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Mommy Confessions

One thing I’ve said right from the start of this little blog of mine, is that I want to be as honest as I can when sharing my personal tales of mommyhood.  See,  I just love when fellow mamas divulge the REALNESS of life, kids, marriage, womanhood and everything in between,  as they depict their various daily adventures.  It’s about admitting that life can often be crazy and chaotic, and that along with all the wonderful & amazing ups, every now and then there are some not so desirable downs.  That our lives are not perfect…that WE are not perfect and it’s ok to acknowledge our faults.  Because THAT is what I can identify with and THAT is what lets me know I am not alone…and not the only neurotic, stubborn, sarcastic, shopaholic who has a serious chocolate addiction (see here)  and sometimes second-guesses her abilities as a mother & wife.

So, in continuing with this objective, I thought I’d list out a few honest revelations that are randomly floating around my brain at the moment.

1. I never thought that after becoming a parent I would also become so incredibly dependent on CAFFEINE!

2. No matter how hard I try not to, I still continue to regularly compare myself to other moms.  One day I will have to accept the following: arts & crafts are not my thing, I do not possess the skills necessary to cook fabulously fresh & healthy meals on a daily basis, I will always feel a little out of place in those mommy groups/clubs, and I will most likely never be the ambitiously organized head of our school’s PTA.

3. Mommy Guilt – WTF??  With me, this phenomenon started not long after my baby girl was born and was fueled by a (predictable) case of post-partum depression.  I had all these crazy emotions & feelings of doubt, anxiety, and resentment, which of course brought on a boatload of guilt.  It took a good 6 months before I really felt connected to my daughter, hence more guilt.  Not that I didn’t love my peanut with all my heart, I did!  I just never imagined NOT having that new mommy glow right away.  Of course, now when I think of those first few months I can’t help but feel tremendous guilt that I wasn’t the best mom that I could have been  - that I kind of missed out on moments I’ll never get back.  Over the last 3 1/2 (almost 4) years the various forms of guilt related to what I am or am not doing in regards to my role as a mama just keep piling on, and unfortunately I don’t expect that to completely stop any time soon. 

Hoo boy…..I think that’s probably enough reflection & honesty for tonight.  I should be asleep by now so that I can start tomorrow refreshed, energized and bright & shiny!  Alas, since it is now 11:20 pm, I will not get enough sleep to achieve the afore-mentioned bright & shiny disposition.  Naturally, I will start the day tired & cranky and will most likely procrastinate all morning, causing us to run late yet again!

Serenity now…….serenity now.



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